Part 2 – Sweets and Birthdays.

Posted: May 17, 2014 in Humour

empty men Bakwasbola woke up at 4 am.

It was not that he couldn’t’ have slept a couple of hours extra. After all, even with his regular wake-up time at 6 am, he still managed to be the first person to enter the 5th Floor on every working day.

Today was special. It was his 51st Birthday.

For a second, he felt old. Then he remembered what his daughter told him the previous year for this birthday.

“Daddy, Tom Cruise is your age. Look at him. Does he look old?”

He then pulled out a picture of Tom Cruise he had kept in his drawer for motivational purposes and had a look at it. Tom looked good for a 51 year old. Rather good. Bakwasbola smiled.

“I can’t be that bad either he thought. He then remembered Tom Cruise was only 5’ 7”. Bakwasbola was 6’ 1”. He smiled wider.  He felt very good about himself in fact. Never felt better. Tom Cruise was his age and half a foot shorter. He was pretty sure that Tom never had to manage the floor of a company as big as Empty Men Telecom either. Oh, he was definitely better and intellectually smarter than Tom Cruise..

Bakwasbola then took a shower, oiled his oh-so-masculine, ‘Tony Stark’ moustache and then went to the kitchen counter

It was time to do some special cooking for his ‘strategic’ friend Chaatu Sharma who lived two floors above him.

Bakwasbola then made the sweetest ever ‘pongal’ possible and took to Chaatu Sharma’s apartment before he left for office. Bakwasbola wanted Chaatu to believe that he liked him though every time he had a drink, after the 5th peg, Bakwasbola would open his heart and call Chaatu a scoundrel and a work-shirker – an act he would blame on the drink the next day.

Chaatu was smart enough never to retaliate on such instances because he wanted to be in Bakwasbola’s good books (the same way he wanted to be in the good books of every floor manager before him).

Therefore Chaatu would keep Bakwasbola happy by being the ‘yes man’ and by sending the latter home cooked dinner every night. Bakwasbola also made sure that any portion of the food he made went up to Chaatu’s home too.

Meanwhile, Baccha first woke up at 6.40 am on the day of Bakwasbola’s birthday not realising the significance of the day. He switched off the alarm on his old Nokia phone and then went to sleep again. He then woke up again at 7.00 to switch off the second alarm on his Samsung phone. He could afford another 15 minutes of sleep surely.

30 minutes later Baccha was running to the bathroom shedding the clothes he wore on the way. He had overslept despite the two alarms and was forced to multi-task in the bathroom to save time. The brushing of one’s teeth could be done while sitting on the toilet too.

After his shower, Baccha got dressed, slung his bag over his shoulder and went to the kitchen to grab a quick bite when he saw a note on the kitchen. Bakwasbola had left him a ‘Good morning’ note with a smiley and an instruction to enjoy the sweet pongal. There was a bowl of sweet pongal next to the note.

Baccha looked at the sweet pongal and groaned..

Such was the situation that whenever Chaatu Sharma sent across dinner to Bakwasbola, he sent across a little extra portion for Baccha so that Baccha didn’t feel bad. Likewise, Bakwasbola also left that ‘little extra’ portion for Baccha when he prepared food and sent it across to Chaatu. These ‘little portions’ were however, not enough to satiate Baccha’s hunger, so Baccha had to cook an extra meal for himself despite these treats from his two benefactors,  both of whom he couldn’t decline for fear of offending them. Bakwasbola was Baccha’s boss and Chatu was his boss’ friend.

The result – in 3 months’ Baccha’s waistline had gone up by three inches, his weight by 7 kilos and two of his pants had split by the seams, which included  one that gave away in office – Baccha had to go the bathroom and staple his pants seams to hold it together till the end of the day.

Today, Baccha decided to not give in to temptation. So he ate half the portion and left the remaining half in the fridge and then rushed to the Empty Men office.

On the corner of the 5th floor, employees were standing a queue to go and greet Bakwasbola who was grinning from ear to ear. Chaatu had spread the word about the birthday and Bakwasbola was surprised to see how popular he was on his birthday. He thought there were at least a few people who disliked him but today everybody seemed nice and eager to greet him – everybody except Baba Om who was not to be seen around (Baba was still pissed that after having waved his magic wand and having turned back time to give a presentation in time, he did not get due appreciation).

Bakwasbola had forgotten that he was only 4 days away from completing the mid-term appraisals for all those people who had come and greeted him earlier.

Baccha went and greeted his roommate, wished him a happy birthday and also complimented him on the fine sweet pongal. Bakwasbola was delighted as it was the first ever time he had made sweet pongal and this was the first feedback he received on his culinary skills on that particular dish.

Later in the afternoon Baba Om, Pehalwan and Baccha were having lunch together when Baccha mentioned about the sweet pongal.

Baba Om chided Baccha for being the official guinea pig for Bakwasbola which Baccha vehemently denied.

“So do you remember the last time you ate regular pongal for breakfast cooked by Bakwasbola”, asked Baba

“That was just a week ago” replied Baccha.

“And there was nothing wrong with it. I suppose?”

“Well it was just a little salty”

“Was that it?”

“Ok, the cooking wasn’t that perfect”

“So are you saying that it was good?”

“It was edible of course”

“Come to the point” said Pehalwan as he cut the conversation short. “What was wrong?”

“The guinea pig here ate half cooked pongal last Sunday and spent half the day in the toilet after that” said Baba Om laughing.

“But how did you know it was half cooked” asked Pehalwan in suprise

“I met Sharaabi on Sunday who was offered the same pongal by Bakwasbola. Sharabi ate two spoons and ran away saying he was full but after that came and told me the real reason he ran away was that the pongal was only half cooked”

They both then looked at Baccha for his response.

Baccha got defensive: “What the hell guys? I don’t eat that stuff every day. It tasted good and I was hungry. Besides he’s my boss. I can’t toss away the food he offers me. Besides he didn’t under cook on purpose and my stomach is oversensitive anyway”

“Just pass us the salad dude”

Baccha shut up and ate. Life wasn’t pretty these days anyway.


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